How the Las Vegas Tragedy Affects Me

Dear God, our hearts are wondering. They are wondering ‘why’? Why could this happen? How could You let it happen? You are Sovereign. You could’ve stopped it. And yet, through it all, we know that You. Are. Sovereign. That means so much more than just all powerful. Father, that means that through it all, you have an all-knowing mind, and even above that, you have an all-wise plan. Today doesn’t even seem real. It seems like something like this should only happen in the movies. I mean, 50+ people killed and 500+ wounded and many probably fighting for their life. But, as much as this saddens and shocks us, I can’t imagine how much more it saddens and shocks You. It doesn’t shock You with surprise like it does us. Nothing takes You by surprise. Rather, it shocks and saddens You because of all the effort and love you have put into creating each and every life. You created with love, formed every inch of those 550 victims. More than that, you even formed with caring love, the one who decided to make the sad decision to harm these innocent people. Jesus, I believe You are saddened and shocked, not by the surprise of the unknown, but because of how Your love got thrown back in Your face. How, when it seemed as if this world couldn’t get more wicked than it is, this happens. Father, we’ve all been betrayed by people, and it hurts, but never have we poured that much love into someone’s life, only to have it rejected so harshly.

The reactions of people will be mixed, but I wonder if they will even think of You. People will wonder how a God who claims to love, who claims to be merciful, how He can even allow it to happen. I don’t profess to even begin to understand how big and huge your character is, and why You allow this or that to happen, but I do know this…..In this tragedy in Las Vegas, You are there. In the middle of the devastation with the hurricanes, earthquakes, and flooding in the many different places,

You. Are. There.

If people truly seek You, they will find You. They will find You in the hospital room, through the Dr.’s sympathetic and caring touch. They will find You present with the efficient capabilities of the medics and emergency personnel, never knowing the whispered prayers that are breathed over them. They will find You in the middle of the night, when it seems all they can do  is sob with pain–there is where they’ll find You. They will find You while being lifted up in prayer by the whole family of God. They will find You while in the middle of the turmoil inside their hearts, while working at their seemingly endless job, when they will feel that they just can’t do this one more day, but silently, You are giving them strength.

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They can see You with each new sunrise and sunset You give them. They can feel Your presence in the soft breezes that blow. They can find You in the center of a flower–where else could that intense beauty lead them? Their nurse on duty, that quiet, almost ‘too shy’ one…Do they realize that this morning’s Bible study with fellow Christian nurses is making her pause for only a second before she timidly asks, “Do you know my Jesus?” The hurting and confused children, the fatherless and motherless. You are there in the ones holding them close, cuddling them, hoping they can give these little ones just a tiny feeling of safety.

God, You are there.

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But, You are also here, with us, the ones who are supposedly ‘unaffected’ by these tragedies. We feel slightly sheltered and safe, and yet our heart aches for those who are ‘out there’. That ache is You speaking to us. The tears that come to our eyes when hearing of the devastation, that’s You, reminding us to pray. That lump in our throat is just a way to shut our mouths from all the cliche sayings, and instead take the time to whisper a prayer to our heavenly Father. You are also here in our freedom to come and go. That freedom is a gift from You to us, to allow us to share Your Good News. When day in and day out, I reject that gift or use it all selfishly for myself, I wonder if that’s just as much shock and sadness to You as the tragedy of Las Vegas. You are here with us, in the middle of our everyday life, waiting, watching with eagerness to see how soon we’ll see You revealing Yourself to us, and when we don’t take notice, I’m wonder if that rejection is just like being thrown in Your face as well.

Father, I wonder how the nation of the U.S. would become if we could all just open our eyes to You. I wonder, if we could actually, truly recognize You in all the places You are, how would that make a difference in our nation?

Jesus, I know I can’t change the nation–only You can do that, BUT I can allow You to change me, and then maybe the change in me will light a spark in someone else’s life. Also, I can pray. We forget the power of prayer, but prayer has such a healing benefit, and our nation is so broken, in desperate need of the healing only You can give.

Help our nation to willingly open our eyes to be able to see You wherever You are. Open our hearts to the change that only You can give.

God, please heal this land!!

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So How Are You?

If I could count the times I’ve been asked this question (or a form of it), it would probably take me days to list and number them all. Well-meaning people and friends I consider very dear, and also plenty of those who are being polite and well-mannered and as a topic of conversation.

Those who know me just a little bit, would say I’m quiet. Those who know me REALLY well, will readily tell you that I have my moods. Place a hidden camera in my house and you would soon see the crazy side of me that only comes out at certain times. (I haven’t even figured it all out myself yet 😉 ) But ask pretty much any of these people and they will tell you that I can’t express myself through speaking. Speaking my words, they all funny go. 🙂 They say I’m like my dad….short and snappy….which is true. Why waste time talking and conversing when you have other work that needs to be done, and other places that need to be gone to?

So, in response to those questions, here’s my answer:

“I’m ok………but how do I explain the fear that is always at the back of my mind. What if this happens again?….around a bunch of people this time? What if I do something that triggers a reaction?”

“I’m ok……but how do I tell them that there is so much unknown in my life right now…and I hate the unknown…I live to know things. My family will testify to that, and not knowing scares me.”

“I’m ok…..but deep down, it hurts. It hurts to see everyone else living a normal life when I have these concerns and health issues that there seem to be no “REAL” answers for.”

“I”m ok…….but nights are the worst. I lie awake determined that it won’t happen again, and sleep will at times evade me for hours.”

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A blurry picture, but you get the point…

“I’m ok……..but in all honesty, it tears my heartstrings to see tears form in my parents eyes, or hear the sound of a quavering voice, as you see how much this is affecting them as well, and they seem to be taking it harder than you.”

“I’m ok…….but it feels like all I’m doing is climbing into a deeper, and darker valley. I wish with all my heart that I could experience a mountain-top experience for awhile.”

“I’m ok……..but really, I hate all these Dr. appointments and if I wouldn’t ever have to take another one of those bitter beta-blockers, it couldn’t be soon enough!”

“I’m ok………and truly, living one day at a time has been absolutely so good for me. Don’t ask me to explain it to you….it just has.”

“I’m ok…..but to tell you the truth, I miss all the ‘normal-ness’ I used to have. Getting used to a new normal is hard, but oh, so necessary in order to live a successful and satisfying life.”

“I’m ok…….but sometimes, the pain is real. Sometimes the pain is great. Sometimes the tears overflow and the pillow is no longer dry. Sometimes all the hurts boil together and overflow.”

“I’m ok……yes, I’m listening to the Dr. (mostly) and yes, I have done tests. Yes, they think they know what it is, and no, it still not always the easiest.”

“I’m ok…..but sometimes it feels like I’m not making enough of a difference. I should be out in the foreign fields helping orphan kids and here I am, still in my comfy American home, living with my parents, and doing my job. I haven’t even been able to write in here for a while because it seemed nothing convicting or exciting was happening”

“I’m ok…….life isn’t always easy, but I’m thankful for friends and family like you who care enough to ask. Please don’t stop asking, but please don’t be offended if I offer a simple answer. Maybe the answer won’t even make sense, because in my head it doesn’t make sense either. Also, be prepared…you may get way more information than you bargained for, depending on my mood! Like I said, I haven’t even figured it all out yet :)”

“I’m ok……but honestly, it’s hard to trust sometimes. I know deep in my heart that God still cares and knows all, and yet, when you’re in the hard spot, it’s tough to keep telling yourself that. I’m oh, so thankful for the teaching and upbringing that I’ve had to build that foundation. Even, if the foundation seems shaky, I haven’t been let go of yet, and I trust God for that!”

“I’m ok…….but I still desperately need your prayers. Prayers for healing, and prayers for grace. God knows, God cares, and so do my friends and family….I know. It’s just tough. It’s hard. You get the picture. 🙂

Well, folks, there you have it. The raw,   (mostly)unfiltered thoughts of me. I’m having 2nd thoughts about posting this all, as it really bares my soul for all to see. I think I will anyway. Fingers crossed, I’m not the only one who’s ever felt at least some of these!

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p.s.—any ideas of blog posts you’d like to see/hear about? I’ve had severe writer’s block lately, and nothing seems to ‘flow’ anymore when I try to write. hmmm :/

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When the Pieces Don’t Fit

Well, it’s been a year. No, I’m not several weeks behind. I know it’s already almost Jan. 31. The year that I’m talking about is that fateful day when I was freezing cold in the back of the squad with needles being jabbed in me left and right, (or mainly just left, I don’t really know), and the kind Medic apologizing profusely because she couldn’t get the IV started.

It’s been a long year, and I was so glad to see 2016 leave. From what I’ve been hearing and seeing, it’s been a tough year for a lot of people. This year, looking on it from the human side of things, treated me rottenly. This year, looking on it from God’s point of view, treated me roughly, but for a purpose.

Had I known how many needles would be stuck in me this year, I would’ve probably cringed. I’ve discovered my veins are hard to reach, most people it takes several tries to get it in. I also bruise easy, so most every little poke through the skin left a gentle black and blue mark. Had I known this, I would’ve cowered. I never knew whether I was scared of needles or not, I just kinda stealthily avoided them. (at least for the first 20 years of my life) Now I know…. they don’t really scare me, I just don’t LOVE them, yet. How do needles fit into my life picture?

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Had I known that one day, I would be admitted to the hospital with 20-some cords?? (don’t remember how many, but it was ALOT!) stuck on my head with a gritty sandpaper-like paste, strapped to the table and then given some pills that made my heart feel like a racing train, causing me to pass out (determined as I was not to), I probably would’ve ran. (run-on sentence, much?) Maybe if I just throw this uncomfortable piece away, my life can get back to normal???

Had I known that Grandma would pass away in Dec., I would’ve spent more time with her, sharing stories, and listening to her experiences. I still find myself missing her. I know if I’d tell her about my new job, she’d be happy for me (in a cautious, grandmotherly sort of way) 🙂 Hmmm, this piece seems so jagged. Maybe I need to shave some corners off, to make it fit just a little smoother.

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Had I known that on the week of my 21st birthday, I would be making the extremely hard decision of whether I should really be teaching again with all that’s going on, or if I should just give it up……I maybe would’ve tried to stay 20 forever. Down in my heart, I knew what the answer was, but it was hard to say it out loud. God, where in the world does this piece go?

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Had I known the extreme weird things my body would be doing, flashes of light, vision loss, seizure activity, extreme dizziness (I now believe it was vertigo), weak sensations where your hands and legs just don’t seem to be doing what they are supposed to, migraine headaches, brain fog (extreme in some cases), exhaustion, nights of unrest because “what if it happens again?”, my body probably wouldn’t have taken it, and I would’ve just stayed in bed. This is the weirdest shaped piece ever!! How does this even remotely look like it should fit in my life. I bet someone else is missing it from theirs. Here, You can have it back.

Had I known that one day, I would be doing a test that involved me holding perfectly still in a big tube for over 2 hours, I would’ve laughed in your face. If you know me well, you know that I don’t /*can’t* sit still that long….ever! I’m constantly adjusting my position, getting up to walk around, or anything but sitting still. So yeah, I would’ve laughed. This piece doesn’t fit (at least not on my picture).

Had I known that the words ‘brain tumor’, ‘epilepsy’, ‘Lymes’, ‘MRI’, ‘syncopal convulsions’, or any such words would have been thrown my way this year, I would’ve cowered under my bed in fear. Those are not words a 20-some girl wants to hear. (thankfully, the worst of these are not the case! Praise the Lord!) Whew! I was right on this one. Well, kinda….But why is God giving me an unsolvable piece? A piece not even the Drs. have a name or a place for?

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I’m not necessarily saying this for pity. I’m getting to my point here, I promise… slowly but surely. God has taught me so much this past year. He taught me so much about trust. It’s still not all learned, but the peace I had through this whole experience was amazing!! Ok, God, I don’t even know what to do, anymore. Take these wasted, ruin pieces that I tried to fit in myself, and use them to create the picture you want. 

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Times that I would be laying there, doing tests, or sitting just waiting on the Dr., the peace that filled my heart was un-explainable. There was a calm within myself that is so unlike me (dramatic, worry-filled me…I’m getting teary-eyed as I write this) I remember specifically a time where nights were especially hard for me, I shared with some ladies what I was going through. That night, I didn’t really get to sleep much quicker but the peace I had as I lay there was unreal. I believe it was because of the prayer they had over me, as well as any continuous prayers that were being sent up. I’m convinced the reason I’ve had no more serious episodes for 10 wks and counting is because God works miracles when people pray. It means so much to hear you’re being prayed for. (find more on my health journey here, including the latest update)

God has been leading me on a serious journey, and one thing He’s been convicting me on, is Prayer. I’ve seen prayer work drastic things last year, not only for me, but also in other healings, miracles, etc. I’ve started a prayer journal. So far, it’s been great!! If you love to write, I highly recommend this! 🙂 It makes you think about what you are praying, as well as make you realize how many ‘filler words’ you use. I’m excited to see where God will take me on this journey of prayer!

Among other things that I wanted to do this year, I decided I’m going to try the 365 project, which is simply take a picture a day. Doing it has made me stop and think about what I can take a picture of today that I am thankful for, or just even the everyday, mundane that I take for-granted. That page is here, if you are at all interested!

So, if you can’t make any sense of all my ramblings, please take this one thought home with you….The pieces to your puzzle won’t always be easy, they won’t always seem to fit, sometimes they don’t even seem to be part of your life picture, but rather should be someone else’s. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, first from God, then the prayers and support of others. Allow God to use you where He has placed you (another hard lesson I’m working on learning), and He will begin to create the most beautiful picture. It will be the most beautiful picture because it is YOURS and GOD’S! Don’t give up, don’t give in, keep serving God, and the pieces of your puzzle will literally FALL into the right place. (Ok, there’s my sermon for the week. Oops!) 🙂

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(words of a song, that jumped out at me one night, when I was at a very emotional point. Thank-you for all your support and prayers! It seems like thank-you is not enough, but it’s all I got!)

‘Cause what is trust…..until it’s proven true? -Joseph Habedank

 

Of Turkey and French Fries

This Thanksgiving was different. I really didn’t feel like celebrating…or being thankful for that matter. For the past several months, I’ve been writing down 3 (or more) things that I was thankful for that day, and I’m telling you, some days it’s just not easy! Sure, I can be original and put down family, friends, food, water, shelter, etc., but I wanted to be creative and try to go beyond the normal, and find out what God specifically blessed ME with that day.

Anyway, random little bunny trail there (and by the way, this a late blog post, so if it seems like I’m rambling or things don’t make sense, I probably am, and they probably don’t 🙂 ) So back on track now, this Thanksgiving was different, and I didn’t feel in the mood because the plans we had made were shattered. We planned to have a small family gathering here Thanksgiving Day, and while that meant cleaning up the house (a chore that is definitely not my favorite), I was getting excited about seeing and having family over. Then, life happened and the main person fixing the food and getting things ready, got a shoulder injury and the plans were cancelled. (understandably so, and it was in the best interest of all involved, I’m sure. Just a little disappointing)

Then, we got the news that my nephew and niece were being transferred to Children’s Hospital because they were maxed out at the local hospital. The morning was spent lazily at home, and then in the afternoon we went to take some supplies and visit with them a little. Seeing my little nephew lying there in a crib, surrounded by crib walls, sedated by drugs so the oxygen mask they put on him would stay there, and he would stay settled, was not something I would wish on anyone! Hearing his cries and whimpers as the nurses did their thing, and knowing that he doesn’t understand what is going on, just tore at my heart. Not being able to hold him or comfort him or see him give us his silly, ornery faces….Why?? On Thanksgiving Day?? (side note: He is doing amazingly better now, and was grinning, eating, and drinking…Such great news!!)

We got home from the hospital, and on the way, we stopped to pick up fries (our substitute since we didn’t have mashed potatoes. A substitute that is better, in my opinion 🙂 ) We got home, heated up some leftover smoked turkey, and baked the fries, and that was our Thanksgiving dinner.

I’m not saying this for pity. I’m saying this to remind us all, that we have so much to be thankful for. As I examined my attitude about the whole day, I realized my attitude that day was NOT on gratitude, but on how ‘pitied’ we should be. I knew it was wrong, and it was hard to change my viewpoint, but yes, I still did find 3 things to write down that night. While these are not what I wrote down, the more I thought about it, the more things came to mind!

*Cancelled plans=lazy day

*sick nephew and away from family=we at least still have each other to spend time with another day

*no time to make mashed potatoes=fries, a better way to prepare potatoes, in my opinion 🙂

*questions about when dad planted trees=good old reminiscing and laughter through some old diaries of dad’s

*drizzling rain, dreary day=thankful I have a warm house!

So yes, Thanksgiving Day with turkey and fries. It can happen. Days and plans don’t always go like we expect them to, and it’s not always easy to find what to be thankful for, or to choose to be thankful. Will you take the challenge with me to find the abnormal, the unnoticed things and thank God for them?

It Happens Every Year

It’s happening again. It happens every year. The days get shorter, the nights get longer, the days get colder, and the nights get even colder still. Halloween is past, and people start talking “Christmas talk”. I’m not a fan.

The days getting COLDer are what I dislike. The chill in the air and the briskness in the wind make me question my sanity as I wear my flip-flops out in yet another 40* day. I inwardly rebel when I have to finally give up, and wear something thicker and heavier, like…a coat! and…boots!! I also leave my window open in my room as long into the season as I can possibly stand it, because again, I’m inwardly rebelling. I haven’t grown out of it yet, and I’m not sure I ever will. 🙂 It happens every year.

The premature talk of Christmas is what I dislike. I could be called the ‘silent grinch that stole the spirit of Christmas with disdainful looks and snooting of the the nose upon seeing premature lights and hearing premature music’. (Except, that’s kinda a long name, so I’ll just stick with my given name.) I always think within my heart, that Christmas music is meant to be played AFTER Thanksgiving, (which by the way, hasn’t happened this year yet, for some people’s info), but somewhere along the line, my view changes a little and I begin my own Christmas playlist. I begin silently and secretly at first, (after all, I have alot of words coming back to bite me) and then become more bold, and ‘Christmas spirit-y’. It happens every year.

The facebook posts are insane!! ‘Oh look, I put up my Christmas tree!!’ ‘Oh look, our lights are up!’ ‘Christmas music was playing in my house today!!’ It happens every year.

The stores are too ‘people-busy’ for an introvert like me. I was out yesterday, and it was almost enough to make me go into hiding until this craziness is past. When I go to a store, I want to get my stuff and get out! These people-y lines……?? No, thank-you! It happens every year.

Don’t get me wrong..By the time Christmas comes around..(truly to honest goodness, ACTUALLY comes around) I’m fine. My spirit is normally great, and I’m the one singing along at the top of my lungs to Christmas carols. I’m not saying Christmas is wrong, or we shouldn’t celebrate it, that’s not my intent on this post at all.

I wonder though, so many nights ago, when the babe was placed in a manger, they were not thinking of all they had to do, and who all to shop for. They were not planning a Christmas feast for family and friends–they had everything they needed right there with them. They were not groaning about the animal’s carols surrounding their ears, and complaining how it’s not the right timing–too early or too late. They didn’t worry about how many lights to put up around the stable, or how they were ever going to drag a tree in that tiny room. They were simply basking in the glory of the One before them. They were marveling in His precious light. They were simply silent in awe and worship before the One who had made them all. This was not something that happens every year.

So do me a favor this year, and in return I’ll try not to be ‘silent grinch that stole the spirit of Christmas with disdainful looks and snooting of the the nose upon seeing premature lights and hearing premature music’. Promise me that when you see people like me who aren’t quite as ‘Christmas/winter fanatic’ as you are, that you will *try to* remember it may not be the season we are snubbing, but the way and time people are celebrating it. Promise me that you will realize God loves us all, winter or summer fanatics, Christmas or Easter zealots. In all the hustle and bustle of the season, and in all the ‘new-fangled’ ways we celebrate these days, promise me that you will take at least one moment and bask in the glory of the One who made this all possible. Promise me that you will be silent in awe and worship before the One who created everything you see. Yes, it happens every year, but will this be the one year it will be different for you and me?

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I Was There, Did You See Me?

You asked Me last night to show Myself in some way. You wanted proof that I existed. Proof that I cared.

You desired “something” just to be assured of My love for you. Your hard times were swallowing you up, and you needed that extra pull to lift you out of your despair.

My heart hurt because yours was hurting. I knew you were grasping, and I wanted you to know I was within reach.

I spent all night imagining and creating the most beautiful sunrise to bless you with. I knew you had to get up at an unusual early hour, and I wanted this to be the first thing you saw. I was there in the sunrise, did you see Me?

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I watched as you opened your Bible, struggling to make sense of what I had inspired so long ago. I waited, wishing you would ask, so I could reveal. I was there in the Word, did you see Me?

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I waited as you dressed for the day, and made yourself presentable. I waited also as you flew down the stairs, making every second count, and you grabbed your things and dashed out the door. I was there in your rushing, did you see Me?

I glanced out ahead of you and saw you were not going to see the buggy just over the next few hills. I was there in the slow car that pulled out in front of you, did you see Me?

I wanted you to remember something good. I triggered memories of someone you loved. They aren’t with you, but the memories are. I was in those memories, did you feel Me?

I whispered to you in the wind. You thought it was just a common breeze. I knew you were getting hot under the collar, so I was trying to cool you down. I was there in the gentle breeze, did you feel Me?

I saw that your expression resembled a sour lemon. I knew you needed to see me…and the quicker, the better! I was the stranger that gave you a warm smile. I was in that smile, did you see Me?

I watched as your temper grew short with your family, friends, and everyone around you. I was with the child that gave you a sticky, squishy hug. I was in that hug, did you feel Me?

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I wondered if you would see me if I made some noise. I sent crickets, hooting owls, and all kinds of night noises. I was there in all the chirping, did you hear me?

I decided to try once more before the day was done. I painted a beautiful moon in the sky. It was surrounded by an immeasurable amount of stars. I was there in the star-scape, did you see Me?

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I love you so much, and I spent all day pouring My love to you. I know your trials seem insurmountable right now, and you think you will never make it! Tears are shed daily, and the mountain seems to get steeper, BUT….

I’m there in your trials, tears, and mountains, can you see Me?

Unexpected Plans

What did you think of when you read that title? Did you wonder at the sanity of the blog writer? (How can plans be unexpected? Plans are planned, Duh!) Did your mind jump to the last time things didn’t go your way? Did you think of a time when you had to change your plans because something else came up? Or did you, like me, think of all of these and more? (I’m a deep thinker, and a wide imagine-er.  😀 )

Lately, I’ve been thinking of plans. I’ve had my life planned out for the last 2 years–in a very broad, generalized way. I teach school during the school year, and then get a summer job that has a very lenient time schedule to recuperate for the next year. I was well on my way to accomplishing that plan, when suddenly life was shook up for me again.

Men in blue standing over me in MY bedroom. Umm, excccuussee me!! Where’s my right of  privacy??! Soon after, they left, and I was left with sore muscles, and a bewildered feeling of trying to figure out what in the world was happening! Memory that morning was fuzzy, but with the help of mom and dad, I was able to piece a little bit together.

That week was an emotional roller coaster for me. (seriously, imagine the most up and down roller coaster, and I was one step up from that yet) One moment, I was determined not to let it get to me, and the next, I wanted to throw in the towel, gauntlet, and everything and anyone else in my path at the moment.

Something was decided that we NEED to do something!! I mean, no normal 20 yr old should have to deal with this, right? Was it stress, emotions, etc.,  or rather something bigger going on in my brain?? MRI and CT scans were done, and now it was time to wait. Wait, wait, wait, and PRAY. Oh, how the prayers (and tears) flowed that week. I’ll be honest, the prayers weren’t for anyone else’s benefit this time. They were for me. I was searching and yearning for answers and peace about the decisions I was trying to make. The struggle was real folks.

You see, my plans were being shattered to pieces. My plans of teaching were being questioned as I prayed and searched for what was the wisest thing to do for my health (and for the sake of the kids..who wants a teacher that is non-energetic, and has Dr.’s visits every other week?) The more I prayed, the more I realized, that this was probably for the best, and I was to let this slip from my grasp.

(This post is not going the way that I planned.) Ironic, isn’t it? My thoughts have been floating (no, racing is a better word) far and wide lately, and I began to think about the absurdity of it all.

We are humans. We are finite. We have limits. We have boundaries. Why do we think we have the right to take charge? So often it seems, I pray, and I try to nudge God to the direction I want.” God, you know it’s always been my dream to do this. Please give me an answer” (all the while whispering under my breath: Do what you know I want.)

And then I look at God. He is God. He is infinite. He is limitless, with no boundaries. Because of Him, we are. Because of His plan, we sometimes get the unexpected. No matter what we tell him, He has the final say, and we’d do well to listen.


So I want to leave a challenge to you as well as to myself. When God places his plan in front of us, are we going to look at it as an unexpected stumbling block? Or when God places his plan in front of us, can we grab His hand, climb over it, and come out stronger in the end because we faced it with Him?

Yes, that means the big and the little. It can mean the cow getting out in the morning, and needing to be chased back in before leaving for work.

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It can mean an unexpected death in the family.

It can mean terminal illness when you thought all was fine and dandy.

It can mean you were speeding in a no-cop zone (or so you thought) and got pulled over for it.

It can mean vacation plans got cancelled because of not enough funds to cover it.

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It can mean your child doesn’t take a long enough nap, leaving you stranded with a lot more work than you wished, and supper STILL not started.

It can mean the loss of a child you never got to know, snuggle, and love.

It can mean the simple thing of getting lost while going somewhere and ending up 30 minutes late.

It can mean having a flat tire in the middle of nowhere and temperatures rising rapidly, when all you wanted to do was run to pick up a couple things and race back to the coolness of your home.

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It can mean having to wait to get to an appointment, even several months, when all you wanted is to do it NOW!

It can mean a change in a job, no matter how hard it is to let go. (If you think about it, pray for me on this one. It’s seriously going to be way tougher than I ever dreamed to let someone take over “my kids”)

It can mean not being accepted as an applicant for a job somewhere that you really wanted.

You hear the saying, “Expect the unexpected.” I’m just glad the unexpected for me is still always in the plan-book for God. Isn’t it awesome no matter what we face, He’s got it!! No matter what would take us by surprise, He is giving it to us at just the exact moment He had planned. It brings me to a feeling of awe and humility, knowing how Sovereign He is and how human I am, and yet…

He still loves you and me so much that He died for us.

And not only that, but the same God who created this beauty in the world, created and cares for you and me. IMG_2906.JPG

(For lack of a better way to end, I will stop here. Allow these words to penetrate your thoughts.)