What does life mean to you? Have you ever stopped to thank God specifically for giving you another day? Just recently, some of the youth girls were talking about how we miss out on some of the small miracles in life because we are searching far and wide for the large ones.
The thought came up, how even the daily gift of life is a miracle. Each day that you wake up, and go to live your life is a miracle. As I thought about this topic, I wondered if this could be my next blog post. (it truly is time for another one) Then I experienced first-hand the worries and uncertainties life brings you, even when you least expect it!
Tuesday, Jan. 19, 2016. I woke up like any other day, and started getting ready for school. I had combed my hair, brushed my teeth, had my devotions and prayer for the morning, and everything was going just as it should for a Tuesday morning. Then apparently something happened; something that made someone say “If you want to skip out on school, this is not the way to do it.” It didn’t make sense. My mind was not with it anymore. I was wheeled out on a cot, and taken by ambulance to my first hospital stay. I’m pretty sure my look was one of confusion. I remember hearing some voices that seemed far away. I remember giving my SSN to the medics as they rushed me to the hospital. I didn’t remember being carried down the steps. I didn’t know a concerned dad had to break open my locked door because he heard me fall, and I didn’t know I wasn’t responding.
I couldn’t remember what date it was. I knew we were in 2016, but didn’t remember had I played v-ball the night before or not. I didn’t remember how many IVs they tried to stick me with…I just knew my elbow stung something fierce. I knew who was with me in the back, yet it didn’t make a whole lot of sense why I was there. I don’t know if I sounded coherent or not, but to me, I thought I was making sense.
At the hospital, they asked me for the last thing I remember, and I didn’t know. I racked my brain, for something, anything, and there was nothing there. I was given IV, blood pressure was taken, and now I could actually feel that I was cold. Time was spent waiting, waiting, and more waiting. Those of you who know me or my dad know we’re not good “waiters” 🙂 I was comfortable for the moment, and so I relaxed. As I relaxed, things and different memories came flooding back to me. I felt like I was remembering things again. I felt like things were making sense again, and yet there was this unknown fear, “what caused this? What if it happens again?”
The rest of that day was spent relaxing. I felt more and more like myself, but still the lightheadedness and headache was there. I was released around noon, with not many more answers than what we had before. I laid down and took it easy. That evening, I was tired so I went to bed early. It was tough to sleep with all the things running through my head.
The next morning, I woke up extremely sore. Everywhere. I began my morning habits again. This time slower than usual to get my body used to moving again. This morning was an emotional one for me. Thinking about how different it could have been. Thinking about all the concern shown for me. This morning, I got up and I specifically thanked God for life, for another day to be alive.
This affected our whole family whether they would admit it or not. It affected me. It has made me pause and ponder that not every day goes as we think it should. My family was scared. I was scared. We knew our minds were going to the same “what ifs.”
So the purpose of this post, is not to say I had it bad, is not to brag that I came through. I wanted remind everyone (even myself) to hold your loved ones tightly. Parents, give your little ones an extra big squeeze tonight. Children, youth, tell your parents you love them and mean it. Every day is a gift. Every life is a miracle. Thank God for the ones he’s given you!